Stop Pretending!

    

     So it's time to get down to business and stop pretending. It's time to be honest with myself and with you. I've realized that over the last week, I haven't been. I have been allowing old habits to slowly, but surely, creep their way back into my daily life. I didn't realize how bad it had really gotten until yesterday when I was talking with my cousin who is on this weight loss journey with me. 

     The bad habits all started when I got the call that my dad was headed to the ER because he was slurring his speech. I didn't plan very well and just basically packed a few things for me and the kids, and ran out the door. I did fairly well during the first day, but at dinner in the cafeteria I allowed myself to have a pop and a bag of chips to go with my...salad.  Yes, you heard me right, salad. I attempted to get something healthy, but allowed the stress of what was going on with my dad to affect me so much that I started making excuses. The first day the excuse was that "It was just this one time". The second day that he was in the hospital I had 2 bags of chips and 2 pops, and said, "It'll be fine I'll just take the stairs and burn off the extra calories", knowing full well that going up two flights of stairs would not burn off those extra 500-600 calories. By the third day, which was one week ago yesterday, my addiction to the junk was back in full force. The only thing I wanted to eat was pop, chips, and fast food all the time. I mean I CRAVED it something fierce! I had pizza hut one day this past week, and then Saturday at my son's birthday party, I had pizza, nachos, pop, and a big piece of cake! That excuse was that I was just too stressed. That seems to be my excuse for everything. Now, don't get me wrong, I am stressed! I am under more stress than I have felt in a very long time, BUT there is no excuse for running to food when I  get stressed. I just did a blog post about that people! Why do I self sabotage? It seems like I'm doing so well for awhile and then just go really off track. It's super frustrating!! I was up almost two pounds, but thankfully being on track Sunday and yesterday I was able to lose those extra pounds.
     I am reading a book called "Made to Crave" and it's very insightful. Many things in that book so far, describe me and my journey to a T. One thing that I read was that we crave what we eat. There's a thought, we crave what we eat. Is that true? Well let's see, this last week I've been having more pop, chips, and fast food...and then I started craving it more and more. The more I allowed myself to have, the more I craved it. What have you been eating lately? What have you been craving? Does this prove correct for you? I know it sure does with me! That why starting today I am being super restrictive with my diet. Let me clarify, I will not be under eating or starving myself. What I mean is that I will be cutting out most of the foods that I have been craving. These are my rules for the next two weeks...who wants in?

1. Sleep a minimum of 7 hours every night because believe it or not, sleep really does help       you lose weight.
2. No chips. I'm allowing myself to have only one serving of either bugles or popcorn.
3. No regular candy. I'm allowing myself to have only one serving of skinny cow candy.
4. No pop. The only exception is when I go out to the movies with my sister which is once         every 2-3 weeks.
5. No fast food or unhealthy restaurants. The only thing I'm allowing myself to have is               Applebees grilled chicken with red potatoes or Chick-fil-a grilled chicken nuggets with           salad or fruit.
6. No frozen items with the exception of frozen fruit. I rely far too heavily on pre-packaged,       sodium and carb filled TV dinners or frozen pizzas.

As for what I will be eating, here is my "acceptable foods list". Since I will not be tracking my food in myfitnesspal for these two weeks, the list is broken down into "freebies"-meaning I can have these whenever I want, and "Portioned"-meaning I can still have these items but I have to watch how much I have of them.

Acceptable Foods List

FREEBIES:
Fruit
Veggies
Low-fat deli meat
String cheese
Sugar free jello

PORTIONED:
Salad (On this list because I only use ranch dressing...and too much of it)
Red meat
Poultry
Red Potatoes
Honey roasted peanuts
Granola bars
Bread
Popcorn
Bugles
Starbucks- Venti or Trenta cool lime refresher(only 80 cal for venti and 100 cal for trenta)
Skinny Cow dessert
Rotisserie chicken

Now my list might change as I'm going through this next two weeks. I might find other healthy foods that I haven't thought of, but for now that is my plan. I know that this is going to be very difficult for me, but I also know that I do not want to get to that place in my life again where I feel out of control with my eating habits. I'm just taking it one day at a time. I'm not thinking about getting through the next two weeks, I'm just focused on getting through today. I'm also going to be blogging about my experience on here everyday. I'm going to be brutally honest...if I'm am curled up in the corner crying because of the cravings, I'm going to write about...so prepare yourself for some major whining ha ha. For right now I feel fine and motivated, let's see what the rest of today and tomorrow brings!

Until tomorrow,
Summer