Down, but not out!

     In case you hadn't guessed yet, my weight has not gone down to where it was before Thanksgiving. I am so discouraged that it makes me want to give up, but I refuse! If indeed my weight is correct and not just water weight, then I must have miscalculated my calories on Thanksgiving. I planned everything out and I thought I did really well, but the scale says differently. So these are my weigh ins for the last few days:

24th-246.0
25th-243.8
26th-didn't weigh in
27th-246.6
28th-247.0
29th- 246.6
30th-246.2

     Even typing that makes me frustrated! I'm feeling so down about all of this, but I'm not going to give up! I am going to keep eating healthy and at some point my body will have to reflect the hard work...right? At least that's what I keep telling myself. Keep going. It'll be worth it, but honestly I feel like I could cry at any given point.
    I will basically be following the same plan as before, but I'm going to be mainly eating fruits, veggies, and deli meat. I am going to start tracking in myfitnesspal again today, and track my water to make sure I'm getting enough of that. I also lowered my sodium goals in myfitnesspal to 2,000 instead of 2,300 and I lowered my calories from 1,450 to 1,300 to see if that will help. I will make sure not to be over on my sodium because there is still a chance that this can still be water weight because on Thanksgiving I was under my calorie allotment by 165 and in order to just maintain weight you have to be eating 2,000 calories! I was at 1,285 on Thanksgiving...something isn't adding up! But I'm going to just take it one day at a time. Instead of looking at how many more pounds I need to lose by October, I'm just going to focus on 5lbs at a time!

Until Tomorrow,

Summer

Post-Thanksgiving Freak Out!

     Anyone else still feeling sluggish and bloated after the festivities two days ago? I ate pretty healthy on Thanksgiving and was under my calories but I still gained weight. I woke up yesterday morning ready to see a good number on the scale, and was shocked to see almost 3 lbs more than before! The day before Thanksgiving I was 243.8, and yesterday I was 246.6...and that's not even the worst part, today when I weighed in I was 247.0!!!!!!! How is that even feasible? I did so good on Thanksgiving and yesterday, and I am really frustrated to see that number! However, I am convinced that the culprit is sodium. That's right Sodium! No, I'm not making excuses, I promise. While I watched my calories the last two days, I did not watch how much sodium I was eating. 


Here is a break down of how much sodium is in a lot of the foods we normally eat on Thanksgiving:

Green Bean Casserole: 600 milligrams of sodium (add 350 calories if the beans are canned) 

Stuffing: 600 milligrams of sodium

Turkey: 320 milligrams of sodium

Pumpkin pie: 350 milligrams of sodium

Gravy: 270 milligrams of sodium

Mashed Potatoes: 400 milligrams of sodium (more if you add butter)

Dinner Roll: 130 milligrams of sodium

     We are only supposed to consume a max of 2,300 mg of sodium per day and one meal can easily have more than that...and I had two family dinners to go to! That means that while I was under my calories, I was more than likely WAY over on my sodium. Now sodium will not make you have more fat, but it will make you retain water which will make the numbers on the scale go up. I believe that is my problem because nothing else makes any sense.

     I have gone back to the eating plan from my November 24th post and will be adding something in that I neglected last time...I will be watching my sodium and drinking a lot of water! You would think that if you are retaining water, you shouldn't drink so much but the opposite is true. We should be drinking a minimum 64 ounces of water per day and some people say it should be even more. I can guarantee that over the last two days I haven't even had half of that!

     I will follow that plan today and see if it has any effect on the scale. I also will be moving, instead of sitting on the couch all day which is what I did yesterday. I will write more tomorrow and we'll see what the scale has to say! :-)

Until tomorrow,

Summer

Push Through It!

     So today is day 2 of my two week diet reboot and I've gotta say thus far, it's not as hard as I thought it was going to be. Last night was difficult because I just wanted to eat junk while watching a show, but instead I decided to grab a bowl of my delicious Special K chocolatey delight cereal, and that totally helped me curb those nasty cravings.
     I had debated putting my weight out there...you know my actual numbers for the world to see, but I think I'm at a place that I feel comfortable doing it. So here goes, when I first started this journey November 22, 2014 I was 289.2 lbs with a BMI of 48! My gosh just typing that makes me realize how unhealthy I really was! Today when I weighed in, I was 243.8 ! (2.2 lbs down from yesterday!) That means that as of today, I have lost a total of 45.4 lbs AND have brought my BMI down to 41! I am more motivated today after seeing those numbers! The hard work over this last year has clearly paid off! I have had a lot of bumps a long the way ( like taking off a few months from January to the beginning of April) and I still have a long way to go, but I can't overlook the fact that I am more healthy today than I have been in over 8 years! I see a huge change in my body and more over my mindset! It's hasn't always been easy, but I have accomplished a lot.

     I can't believe how much I've changed in just a year! I don't care what anyone says, I'm proud of myself and what I've been able to accomplish and I will keep pushing through and keep taking it one step at a time until I reach my goal! No more excuses. No more giving up. I have a little over 10 months to lose 54.6 lbs and reach my goal of 100 lbs lost. Since I won't be taking months or weeks off, I know that I can totally reach that goal in time! Believe in yourself and keep pushing through! You can do it, and I now believe that I can too!

Until tomorrow,

Summer

Stop Pretending!

    

     So it's time to get down to business and stop pretending. It's time to be honest with myself and with you. I've realized that over the last week, I haven't been. I have been allowing old habits to slowly, but surely, creep their way back into my daily life. I didn't realize how bad it had really gotten until yesterday when I was talking with my cousin who is on this weight loss journey with me. 

     The bad habits all started when I got the call that my dad was headed to the ER because he was slurring his speech. I didn't plan very well and just basically packed a few things for me and the kids, and ran out the door. I did fairly well during the first day, but at dinner in the cafeteria I allowed myself to have a pop and a bag of chips to go with my...salad.  Yes, you heard me right, salad. I attempted to get something healthy, but allowed the stress of what was going on with my dad to affect me so much that I started making excuses. The first day the excuse was that "It was just this one time". The second day that he was in the hospital I had 2 bags of chips and 2 pops, and said, "It'll be fine I'll just take the stairs and burn off the extra calories", knowing full well that going up two flights of stairs would not burn off those extra 500-600 calories. By the third day, which was one week ago yesterday, my addiction to the junk was back in full force. The only thing I wanted to eat was pop, chips, and fast food all the time. I mean I CRAVED it something fierce! I had pizza hut one day this past week, and then Saturday at my son's birthday party, I had pizza, nachos, pop, and a big piece of cake! That excuse was that I was just too stressed. That seems to be my excuse for everything. Now, don't get me wrong, I am stressed! I am under more stress than I have felt in a very long time, BUT there is no excuse for running to food when I  get stressed. I just did a blog post about that people! Why do I self sabotage? It seems like I'm doing so well for awhile and then just go really off track. It's super frustrating!! I was up almost two pounds, but thankfully being on track Sunday and yesterday I was able to lose those extra pounds.
     I am reading a book called "Made to Crave" and it's very insightful. Many things in that book so far, describe me and my journey to a T. One thing that I read was that we crave what we eat. There's a thought, we crave what we eat. Is that true? Well let's see, this last week I've been having more pop, chips, and fast food...and then I started craving it more and more. The more I allowed myself to have, the more I craved it. What have you been eating lately? What have you been craving? Does this prove correct for you? I know it sure does with me! That why starting today I am being super restrictive with my diet. Let me clarify, I will not be under eating or starving myself. What I mean is that I will be cutting out most of the foods that I have been craving. These are my rules for the next two weeks...who wants in?

1. Sleep a minimum of 7 hours every night because believe it or not, sleep really does help       you lose weight.
2. No chips. I'm allowing myself to have only one serving of either bugles or popcorn.
3. No regular candy. I'm allowing myself to have only one serving of skinny cow candy.
4. No pop. The only exception is when I go out to the movies with my sister which is once         every 2-3 weeks.
5. No fast food or unhealthy restaurants. The only thing I'm allowing myself to have is               Applebees grilled chicken with red potatoes or Chick-fil-a grilled chicken nuggets with           salad or fruit.
6. No frozen items with the exception of frozen fruit. I rely far too heavily on pre-packaged,       sodium and carb filled TV dinners or frozen pizzas.

As for what I will be eating, here is my "acceptable foods list". Since I will not be tracking my food in myfitnesspal for these two weeks, the list is broken down into "freebies"-meaning I can have these whenever I want, and "Portioned"-meaning I can still have these items but I have to watch how much I have of them.

Acceptable Foods List

FREEBIES:
Fruit
Veggies
Low-fat deli meat
String cheese
Sugar free jello

PORTIONED:
Salad (On this list because I only use ranch dressing...and too much of it)
Red meat
Poultry
Red Potatoes
Honey roasted peanuts
Granola bars
Bread
Popcorn
Bugles
Starbucks- Venti or Trenta cool lime refresher(only 80 cal for venti and 100 cal for trenta)
Skinny Cow dessert
Rotisserie chicken

Now my list might change as I'm going through this next two weeks. I might find other healthy foods that I haven't thought of, but for now that is my plan. I know that this is going to be very difficult for me, but I also know that I do not want to get to that place in my life again where I feel out of control with my eating habits. I'm just taking it one day at a time. I'm not thinking about getting through the next two weeks, I'm just focused on getting through today. I'm also going to be blogging about my experience on here everyday. I'm going to be brutally honest...if I'm am curled up in the corner crying because of the cravings, I'm going to write about...so prepare yourself for some major whining ha ha. For right now I feel fine and motivated, let's see what the rest of today and tomorrow brings!

Until tomorrow,
Summer 

Food Is Not The Answer!

     How many movies have you seen where a woman gets her heart broken and then dives head first into a pint of ice cream? It seems to be the acceptable norm. I think we are taught at a young age that food is the answer to many of life's problems. You're happy? Celebrate and eat. You did something awesome? Reward yourself with a cupcake. You're sad...heartbroken? Get out that pint of ice cream because it will make you feel better. Does this resonate with anyone else? I'm going to be completely honest here, I am an emotional eater. I have never really had a great relationship with food. When I was younger, eating a lot of junk food was fine because I was skinny and it didn't seem to affect me. When I got older, however, it became very apparent how unhealthy my relationship with food really was.

Me age 6

           In 8th grade I started hating my body. I was told how fat I was and I stupidly bought into that lie. I was 5'5'' and 120 lbs. folks, I was far from being fat. But I believed the people who would tell me that because I wasn't a size 0 I was fat and ugly. I then began to hate myself and my body so much that I became anorexic. I was hungry all the time and that's when one of friends told me about bulimia. The thought was so appealing...to be able to eat whatever I wanted and still lose weight. I was like that for only a year or so. This is the one time I'm glad that I was constantly changing my mind as a teenager.

9th grade after bulimia 

     Even though I was no longer anorexic or bulimic, I still didn't have a good relationship with food. It then became my comfort. I was really sad and depressed for years because of the bullying at school and rough things that no kid should ever have to deal with, so I turned to food. I was still fairly thin until I got married. My relationship with my new husband was anything but happy and I again found myself depressed most of the time. I felt worthless, ugly, fat, and stupid...again believing the lies that I was told. So, I turned to food as my comfort and began to eat more and more. I would binge on food just like when I was bulimic, but I wouldn't purge. I would eat until I made myself sick, but I still didn't purge so I began to pack on the weight. With every pound I gained, I hated myself more and more. I was teased in my own home and made to feel like I wasn't good enough the way I was. I had three kids and with every one I gained 40+ pounds. 

     I'm realizing now just how broken I really was. I wish I could go back and talk to that younger version of me and explain to her just how beautiful she was and tell her to ignore the stupid people who only felt good about themselves when they were tearing other people down. I wish I could tell her to turn to God instead of food, because He has the answers...not food. Unfortunately that isn't possible, so here I am now at 30 years old and learning to love myself and my body again. That's what my journey is all about. I'm learning to find healthier alternatives to turn to when I am sad, mad, or stressed. Food is not the answer. It might be comforting short term, but ultimately it will just end with me feeling even worse about myself. I am learning to tune out those even present voices that tell me I'm not good enough. I'm starting to realize that the things that are said come out of their own insecurities, and really have very little to do with me.

     Friends, whoever you are, don't turn to food with your problems...it doesn't help long term. Find better alternatives to your problems and stress. Meditate. Pray. Journal. Talk with a friend. Do something else besides run to the fridge when life gets hard, because the only person you are hurting is you and you are worth more than that. You are beautiful (or handsome). You are intelligent and worthy of love. Don't let anyone ever bring you down and try to tell you otherwise.

Until next time!

Summer

The Battle of the Holiday Bulge!

  Did you know that the average American gains somewhere between 7-10 pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas? That's 7-10 pounds in just a little over 4 weeks! While that number is crazy high, it's not unbelievable. Think about how much food we generally consume during that time and how little we move.

     I know personally in holidays past, I would use the whole holiday season as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted, and usually those things were consumed in very large portions. Then after I gorged myself for 6 weeks I would make a New Years resolution to lose weight and get healthy...which would only last maybe a week. I mean it's crazy what we do to ourselves, isn't it? We eat, and eat, and eat until we feel sick. Then we have to sleep just to allow our bodies to digest the enormous quantity of food we just ate. We don't dare look at a scale until a few days before we make our New Years resolutions and then when our eyes behold how much weight we just gained, we again feel sick and start out defeated. It's a vicious cycle, and it needs to end.
     I'll be the first to tell you that it's extremely hard to lose weight during the holiday season.There's so many delicious, but unhealthy foods readily available for weeks at a time...and lets not even mention the leftovers! There are so many parties and family get-togethers to go to that losing weight can seem virtually impossible...but it's not! I've put together a list of 5 things to help you lose weight during the holidays!

1. KEEP TRACK- Track your weight every morning and also make sure to track what you eat. You should be tracking every single item that crosses your lips! Have a new saying for yourself, "If I bite it, I write it"! myfitnesspal.com has an excellent app to help keep you on track. Also, make sure that you track your meals and snacks BEFORE you eat them!! I can't stress that enough! It's a lot harder to try to remember what you ate five hours after you ate it...especially if you're in a turkey coma!

2. AMP UP THE EXERCISE- You might be tempted to take a break from your workout routine because of how busy you are during the holidays, but don't do it! Instead, you should up the intensity! Add an extra 15-20 mins of cardio to your workout and you'll feel better and definitely be less inclined to cheat.

3. HAVE A PLAN-  You might not know exactly what foods will be at the parties, but there are a lot of holiday staples that you can bet on to help you have a plan. Make sure to plan your meals and snacks for the day.

4. EAT SOMETHING SMALL EVERY 2-3 HOURS- Your day should always start with breakfast, even during the holidays. It can be just a granola bar or a banana, but eat something within 30 mins of waking up. We tend to save up our calories for a big meal , but doing that will only cause your metabolism to plummet and will cause you to over eat. But if you eat breakfast and then eat every 2-3 hours after that, it will insure that when you do go sit down to a meal, you won't be very hungry.

5. DRINK YOUR WATER- Make sure that you drink a lot of water because it will keep you fuller for longer. Try to challenge yourself to drink a small glass of water before and after every meal, that will help you reduce the amount of food you can actually eat.